Talk:Casadastraphobia/@comment-34455581-20180124152341

OK, long post coming......

Has anyone here actually cured this fear or found real root causes? It has effected my life and what I do so much. I used to ski, I've been to the tops of the alps when I was younger, and LOVED it!. Now I avoid it all. I first noticed it mildly ten years ago while looking up at high bridges. Then walking across the golden gate bridge 6 years ago, I freaked and turned back and it took about a half hour for me to calm down. To please my partner I toughed it out and made a trip to Hawaii recently and did pretty well there, though I had to talk myself into relaxing and rationalizing that I was ok while driving up big hills. So much beauty it kind of distracts you from fear. But, what was even worse was the first part of our trip we drove from vegas to  Zion canyon in Utah where our friend drove us up a mountain to repel. The drive was terrible, all desert and open, blank, blue sky. then high mountains on each side I obsess on and try not to look up. Weirldy, its my imagination that makes it worse becasue when I don't look up at them I Imagine the Biggest mountain ever that reaches space and I feel like I'm lifting off the ground a bit. I drove seperate to the repelling thing cause I knew it would bother me,  turned back with a panic attack thinking I may pass out driving. I was actually fine while in the canyon ealier that day, though looking up for too long was triggering. We rode bikes through it and it helped to keep my mind occupied so I was able to enjoy it. After the drive to repelling  panic attack I randomly was venting to our friends neighbor who I just met. Her dog did not like me and I am usually great with dogs. I said the dog can probably tell I'm very nervous. We talked more and she was so kind to take me to her local doctor and for the fist time ever I was prescribed and took xanax to get me through the trip. She even drove through the desert for me to get the prescription. So nice! I was always too proud to take xanax and still do not want to rely on them at all, but it certainly helped me get on that plane to hawaii the next day and enjoy my trip. Though I do think my memory of the trip there is a little hazy because I was on them. I surfed a bit and had fun, got some sun, but sometimes I can't remember all of it clearly. Surfing was a challenge too as the sky cleared up, luckily when I started it was pretty overcast. There's usually a good amount of puffy clouds around kuaii, a very rainy island, rainiest in the world in the rainforest part!

Anyway. I had some questions for folks here to maybe identify common causes of this fear together. Some othere symptoms I've suffered with and things that make my fears worse. Sometimes I wonder if the root of it is the inner ear. I had surgery on my ear when younger, had tubes in my ears and when one fell out the hole never closed, so the surgery was to patch skin over my ear drum. However I don't have vertigo when at home or work so most people rule out the inner ear causing vertigo, since that would happen all the time and not just in open sky situations. I also had a hip injury 9 years ago and my spine has been a bit curved ever since,  so I'm curious if others here have noticable hip or back problems, pain in the neck or shoulders, always fidgeting and trying to pop their neck? when I walked on the golden gate bridge I remember a very tight gripping of my left, injured leg, and a sensation as if there was a cord attached to my leg that was going to pull me up into space. To this day my left leg is a bit numb and tight around the knee and I don't feel hot water on my left foot as much as the right. May be messing with balance issues. I must have torn a nerve in my hip or something. I've been seeing a chiropractor recently and the adjusments and the decompression therapy is helping more feeling come to my legs. Have had better health in general as well and driving long distances has been easier, too. Though I still have fear of an attack that may come on any moment.

I have also become very sensitive to what I can eat and digest. Sometimes I think it is a gaseous pressure in the stomach that messes with my sense of calm and stability. When I have strong coffee, on top of it making me nervously jittery, it creates a bubbly uneasy stomach which I must burp up until I feel normal again. I've noticed this last year I really don't digest beans well, and if I eat any or a bread with  a bean flour, I will feel very bloated and even dizzy. It effects my mood greatly and my abiliy to focus at work. I've lived with IBS for the last 6 years as well, though its not as bad now that I know what I can handle and digest well. Just curious if others also deal with stomach issues. So possible common symptoms:   I've heard the stomach produces most of the serotonin we use as well, and without it we don't feel calm and happy. So stomach problems can play into anxiety.

Physical Injury to legs ( torn hip, rolled ankle, pulled muscles from sports. Ha, my body's a mess really from years of sports and injury, I feel so tight across my legs, hip pain all the time, and tight chest, probably very assymetrical from kicking with one leg, throwing one arm, swinging bats and golf clubs and tennis one way). Inner ear problems,  Digestive issues,  IBS.

Phsychological:   general anxiety (history in my family),  obsessive thoughts, loss of my father when I was fifteen.

Thanks for reading my novel, if anyone got tis far. It feels good even if its just my own personal journaling for myself. Peace and good luck, I really feel for whoever deals with this fear and hope we can all cure it and get to the bottom of it. Life should be enjoyed, especially open spaces and the most beautiful places on earth!